Showing posts with label newcastle united. Show all posts
Showing posts with label newcastle united. Show all posts

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Oh! Carroll

Newcastle fans are famous for lots of things - drinking, supporting the club through thin and thin and terrific away support, but one of the underrated talents we possess is the ability to churn out some real hit terrace songs. We have the old standards of course; the "Blaydon Races" (seldom sung with the correct lyrics), "Untitled" (it goes, "An N and an E and a wubbleyoo C...") along with "Geordie Boot Boys" and "Drunk & disorderly" which are amongst my personal favourites, despite the somewhat passé references to hooligan tendencies. Whilst these are to name but a few, Newcastle fans are definitely there or thereabouts when it comes to getting new terrace songs into the domain. Indeed it was Supermac who described our song writing as "clever" and "inventive" when, on his United debut, the chorus of Superstar (from "Jesus Christ Superstar") rang out around St James' Park as he completed his hat-trick. Only it wasn't Jesus who was the superstar on this occasion.


Up and down the land countless nursery rhymes, advertisement jingles, pop songs and even hymns have been adopted and adapted for maximum terrace effect, whether it's to support the team or mock the opposition. "Hark now here" is almost a perennial terrace Christmas carol, though the modified refrain, "because of New Year's Day", points at the New Year's Day home derby wins of both 1980 and 1985 rather than anything traditionally festive. Fast forward to these days and "Oh Coloccini" - a re-writing of the chorus of Frankie Valli's 1967 hit, "Can't take my eyes off you" - illustrates not only the invention of whoever it was who thought of it, but also the desire to reach beyond the safety of tried and tested melodies. But, we always need a distinctive song for our number 9. Undeterred by the extra syllable, the Andy Cole song (when he gets the ball he scores a goal) is now bestowed on Andy Carroll and that's great. Originally a hit for Boney M, although actually an adaptation of an old ditty first published in 1880 called "Polly Wolly Doodle", it does however seem a little lazy. Recycling's great, but Andy Carroll deserves something different.

So, here's my submission for a fresh Andy Carroll song, based on Neil Sedaka's 1958 hit, "Oh! Carol":-

"Oh Carroll! Nolan, Timmy Krul;
Shola I love you, you're better than Raul;
Oh Carroll! You made the mackems cry;
but if you leave me, I will surely die.

Carroll will you go and score another!

Nolan, Timmy Krul;
Shola I love you, you're better than Raul;
Oh Carroll! You made the mackems cry;
but if you leave me, I will surely die.

Repeat to fade, as they say in the business...

Monday, 1 November 2010

Newcastle 5 - 5under1and 1

Truly one of the most memorable Newcastle games of recent times and, surpassing the Beardsley hat-trick game of New Year's Day 1985, probably the best derby game I've witnessed at St James' Park. T'was the perfect day: to a man, Newcastle were incredible. Sunderland, meanwhile, were worse than appalling. Since Sunday, the press and social media has been awash with an abundance of superb accounts, superlatives, testimonials and lampoonery, and celebrations are set to continue long into November. If only we had a scoreboard to symbolise the occasion - here's one I made earlier...


Monday, 18 October 2010

Match tweets: Newcastle United v Wigan Athletic

  1. 2-2 recovery doesn't paper over the cracks in this appalling #NUFCdisplay. #Wigan can count themselves unlucky if a little careless.
  2. My tweets today have been somewhat after the event... Bloody crap signal inside SJP meant I had to keep retrying.
  3. Late 2-2!!!! Coloccini :-) #NUFC #match
  4. New escape hatch in the Gallowgate? #NUFC http://yfrog.com/n9gtpmj
  5. Shola transforms SJP from a cauldron of moaners and suddenly we have an exciting last 15 #NUFC #match
  6. Out of the blue, shola on his Segway pulls one back with a header following a great Jonas cross #NUFC #match
  7. Tiote a class apart again trying to drive a poor #NUFC side. Like Lewis Hamilton driving a Vauxhall Viva... #match
  8. Incredibly, Zog rifles a 2nd past Krul & makes it two to Wigan. Whooda though it'd be Perch's mark who has damaged us...#NUFC #match
  9. Poor marking and as if scripted, Zog the frog loops a header beyond the reach of Krul - 1-0 to Wigan #NUFC #match
  10. v. Wigan (@ St James' Park w/ 9 others) http://4sq.com/8w3Qzr

Sunday, 17 October 2010

Jesus saves, but Coloccini heads home the rebound

God delivers the half time team talk, yesterday
Half time at St James' Park and Newcastle United - two goals down at the hands of Wigan Athletic - trudge back to the dressing rooms for a catch-up meeting with the gaffer. Meanwhile, sections of the crowd in the Gallowgate end find amusement from what appeared to be 'a sign' - a thick shaft of light beams down onto the crowd, making its way slowly across various sections of the fans on the east side of the ground, as if to cast a blessing on the Geordie faithful. It seems a panel or door on the side of the Gallowgate had been left open - possibly by the workmen who painted Mike Ashley's 'tag' on the roof - but whilst fans scratched their heads and pondered a poor first half, it looked like the 'man upstairs' was delivering a beam of hope for the second half.

Sure enough, forty five minutes later - despite referee Pontious Halsey's continued hinderance - disciples Ameobi and Coloccini combine to rescue a point. Hallelujah indeed.

Friday, 15 October 2010

Pumpkin madness

2007: "I want to play a game"
Yeah, I've been taking Halloween very seriously lately - perhaps too seriously - but not being one to shirk a creative challenge, in recent years I've been attempting to raise the bar in my own field of pumpkin carving.

2008: "Howay the lads"
Cautiously, I've been using Halloween as a something of a smokescreen in an attempt to mask this particularly geeky side of me. That said, it's not easy to procure pumpkins at any other time of year. My early carvings are not worth mentioning - a man, Eric, with circular eyes and a circular mouth (thanks apple corer) was a particular low point but thanks to the once popular practice of circulating amusing jpegs by e-mail, I gained my inspiration.

2008: "Come Together"

Who could forget the cleverly staged scene depicting a pumpkin spewing its insides down some steps. In an instant, the humble, custom of carving a face in the side of a seasonal fruit turned on its head and suddenly, I became intrigued and inspired.

2009: "Aye aye captain"
Of course there is also a culinary by product to almost justify all this madness - left to simmer with some peppers, onion, garlic and stock, pumpkin flesh makes for an incredible soup.




Update: Subsequent efforts include:

2010: Doctor Who

2012: Gus Fring from Breaking Bad

2013: Peppa Pig

2014: Disney fairy

2015: Ghostbusters



Thursday, 7 October 2010

Blog on the pies - Manchester City 2 Newcastle United 1

Barclays Premier League
3rd October 2010
City of Manchester Stadium, Manchester


Attendance: 46,067

Last Sunday saw the missus and I taking in the clash between Manchester City and Newcastle United at the City of Manchester stadium. This rare Premiership away day also afforded the opportunity to pay a visit to my brother @dookjam who, to a large extent, inspired this blog entry. Having become more accustomed to the Northern League scene of late, paying more than £5 to get in was a trip down a gloomy but still vaguely familiar memory lane. But, this is the Premier League, you get what you pay for and the CoM is a fine venue.

Bell end
Leaving behind its former guise as a generic sports arena, the CoM has been well and truly "Cityfied". Being something of a traditionalist when it comes to football, it feels strange that this is City's home. Approaching the stadium, I don't feel anxious and I'm 95% certain the car's safe where it's parked. A far cry from the days of visiting Maine Road - Moss Side and all that - we walk confidently past the main entrance to the away enclosure, past the Colin Bell end (ahem) and towards two foamy-mouthed police horses situated outside our turnstiles.

Canny view

The monsoon we woke up to relents as we approach kick off although the impressive sculpted downpipe at the south end of the stadium continues to channel a torrent of rainwater from the roof to the drain. Once inside, we approach the top of the stairs to the away section and drink in the view. The pitch is a lush green and the bowl of home fans before us gives the impression that somehow we're surrounded.

Four minutes in: 'the Ben Arfa tackle'. Difficult to see from where we are but someone's receiving treatment and it's one of ours. Replays on the two corner mounted video screens are not forthcoming and as the minutes pass, it's clear it's a serious one. Routledge comes on and as the half develops, City look dangerous on the break but we're more than holding our own. Game changing moment #1: Tevez, seemingly brought down by Williamson, picks himself up to blast home a penalty. Newcastle react quickly and persistence from Gutierrez finds himself in front of goal with the ball at a perfect height. 1-1 and mayhem in the away end. Rival fans make each other's acquaintance and the atmosphere in the away end in buoyant. Banter, gesticulating, posturing but not really bad natured - this was just heavy petting and idle taunts over lack of vocal home support, empty seats, that sort of thing.

Balti pie
Half time comes and the main event - we take the opportunity to check out the local pie situation. We test the balti pie: tasty filling but tough crust and far too expensive at £3.50. (two out of five stars). We're driving straight home after the game so we pass on the beer.

Second half begins and Newcastle continue to look good for a draw. The excellent Cheick Tiote bosses the midfield and fortunately Milner's somewhat off the boil today. Adam Johnson enters the fray and his first act is to weave into the box and fire a sweet left foot strike into the far corner. City in the lead, clock ticking. Campbell & Carroll come on but hope of a point is running away. Game changing moment #2: Ameobi is swept to the floor in the box, but there's no penalty decision this time.

As we filter out of the ground, belated texts filter through to my phone revealing the extent of Ben Arfa's injuries. A tale of two penalties and a promising young talent with a broken leg.

Sunday, 26 September 2010

Match tweets: Newcastle United v Stoke City


  1. Post match blues... (@ The Strawberry) http://4sq.com/cc2zjM





  2. Stoke had one attempt on target but won 2-1. Go figure... 6 Pts dropped in last two home games. Bad day at the office... #NUFC#match











  3. 3-1 Stoke wouldn't be a surprise but 2-1 it remains. #NUFC awful today. Not at the races at all... Stoke killing game off now #match











  4. Six mins stoppage time at SJP #NUFC - Jonas squares, Nolan misses a sitter #match











  5. Stoke take a 2-1 lead - #NUFC been poor today. Hangover from Stamford bridge maybe. Couple mins left #match











  6. Last 10 mins #NUFC pushing forward - carroll's woken up and Routledge has had a good 2nd half - #match











  7. Tiote off, ameobi on for #NUFC - no creativity 2nd half. Stoke good for their equaliser. Routledge raising game but carroll v quiet#match











  8. And almost on cue, Jones equalises for the red n whites... #NUFCmust wake up. Note to Hughton: the long ball game won't work...#match











  9. Stoke pressing - #NUFC looking nervy. 25 plus stoppage time to go - need to assert #match











  10. HBA off for Jonas - one who can cross a ball replaced by one who can't... #NUFC #match











  11. Ten mins into 2nd half and #NUFC look shaky, incohesive and a bit nervous #match http://plixi.com/p/47306102











  12. Having not created too much, #NUFC still deserve to be one up if only because #scfc have come to frustrate - no invention. #match











  13. Some justification if #NUFC go in one up - Stoke are here to cancel us out... #match











  14. Nolan strikes - 1-0 #NUFC on 42 mins. It has broken up a certain monotony of any game involving Stoke - sent Sorensen the wrong way #match











  15. And out of the blue - pen to #NUFC #match











  16. Neutral start at SJP- no goals and ex mackem Jones on the floor. Someone ruffled his dreads... HBA and Tiote both looking sharp#NUFC #match











  17. V. Stoke City (@ St James' Park (Newcastle United FC) w/ 7 others)http://4sq.com/8w3Qzr